I have enjoyed the last week. To an extent. Going back to work was a bit laborious but am off tomorrow so I plan on doing nothing all day!
I went out last night in town. I vowed after the Christmas Eve Eve debacle that I would not be going out in Preston for a considerable amount of time, but after last Friday with Bro and his friends when I really enjoyed myself I decided that I needed to branch out and be a normal 26 year old.
For the most part I really enjoyed last night. It was lovely to be with my friends and catch up, we haven’t been out in ages. I got to have a huge heart to heart with someone that maybe I don’t know as well as I should and it was really therapeutic. This was after an angry stomp to get away from a situation that was making me ridiculously het up.
I love my girlfriends; I would do anything for them. But for some reason I just don’t really get on with girls that well. I have a few girl friends that have been in my life for a long time and that ill never change. But I always fall out with those who maybe haven’t been there for that long. Hence why I tend to move through friendship groups at a lightening speed.
Life is so much easier with lads – there is no underhanded-ness, there is no backstabbing, no double meaning, no talking behind their backs. Sure most men are worst gossips than girls but it isn’t malicious, just being nosey.
I reached the end of the road last night and I think I will have to draw a line under that part of my life. It’s sad, but I’m not going to waste my time with people who make me feel like shit and undermine me at every opportunity. I may have less people on my team, but at least I know they are people who would do anything for me.
I have lost 3.5lbs this week – back on track woohoo! I can kind of feel a difference in my clothes but I don’t know if I am willing myself to feel differently rather than it being genuinely true. People told me last night that I look great and that I don’t need to do what I am doing to validate myself but as I have said before that is not the reason I am doing this.
I’m scared that I will end up living alone with a thousand cats, 30 stone and unable to move. I don’t want that life for myself, I want to be able to run up the stairs to grab something or dance on a night out without getting out of breath. I don’t want to have a heart attack or be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes because I am overweight. I have no intention of being super skinny, far from it, I just want my BMI to be in the healthy range and at the moment I have a way to go. I’ll get there though.
This week I don’t have that much planned. I’m booking a hotel for Amsterdam tomorrow with BFF, how bloody exciting. Then working all week, 2 wedding weekend the first of the year. Brilliant! But the highlight of my week has to be the thought of a seemingly annual Team Squuures night out on Saturday. Moving up the world we are visiting Forum..oo er?!
Ranting over. Next post more fluffy bunnies..promise.