How The Mighty Have Fallen

 And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am – Michelle Obama

I am not an easy person to get on with. You have to work your ticket with me. I don’t like to waste my time with people and as such I have a slight reputation for being a bitch. It was well known at my old place of work that I didn’t bother with anyone new until they’d been there at least a month; my attitude was (and if I’m brutally honest still is) if you aren’t going to stick around then why should I spend time getting to know you?

I have quite a list of people that I have fallen out with over the years. Some stand out more than others. All were female – go figure. I love my girlfriends but its I’m definitely a girl who gets on better with boys. I miss my boys now I don’t see them as much anymore, but all the better when we do get to catch up.

High school was pretty rubbish, so “not me”. All girls, all high achieving and fiercely competitive. I fell somewhere in the middle, I wasn’t naughty so wasn’t on teachers radars, yet wasn’t the cleverest so again they weren’t that bothered with me. Coupled with living 20 miles away (which seems nothing now but at the time an hour on a bus was too far for a social life!) I just hated my time there.

I did meet some lovely girls and now and again I do wish I’d kept in contact with more of them but when I left I pretty much severed all contact with everyone I knew there. Bar bumping into people in random places from time to time and being “Facebook Friends” with a few it’s a part of my life that just isn’t on my radar anymore.

There was one girl, however , that I will never forget. No matter who I tried to be friends with she was always flitting around. She supposedly was getting jiggy with an older married man, which now seems ridiculous, but she was just always there undermining me.

And I hated her. Like really really hated her, it got to a point where I couldn’t even speak to her which was hard when we had every class together. She was one of the main reasons I left to go to another school for 6^th form.

 Imagine my delight walking into my local last week and seeing her working behind the bar…as my mum loves to say “bide your time..they’ll get theirs”. And it looks like she has! The joy I got in seeing her there was indescribable. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what she was doing there, whether it was a second job or her only job, but for once it wasn’t me to whom people were saying “So…what do you want to do in life?” (as I was so frequently asked at the restaurant!).

This post is turning into quite the hateful rant so time for a bit of love..if it hadn’t been for a small group of friends who adopted me I wouldn’t have survived. “The Broughton Girls” as they were lovingly known really did change my mid teen years; if it wasn’t for them I’d have been so unhappy.

But thanks to the endless sleepovers at GB and BFF’s houses and birthday parties at Guys Court and of course the infamous party to celebrate the end of GCSEs where someone ended up in a pond I muddled through and headed off the 6^th form with them a happy little ZD.

Fast forward to uni and my ex housemate. How I fell into the same group as this girl I will never know, she was hideous. But I couldn’t break away from her. It makes me really sad that because of the breakdown in our relationship I don’t speak to the girl who was the first proper friend I made at Loughborough. She caused trouble wherever she went, she broke up friendships, she cheated on her boyfriend and had us all cover for her, she changed people.

However because of this grotbag I have my London Ladies who I adore and again they were my sanctuary. So every cloud I guess…last I heard she was working in a dead end job and leeching off the boyfriend she is still with, having never graduated from uni. Bravo.

What I’m trying to say is that even if I sometimes seem abrasive, I’m rarely wrong about people. If I get a weird vibe off you, I will back away because I know at some point you will cause me trouble. I used to be all about the drama, but now I just want an easy life with lovely people, and this means not cluttering my world with toxic friendships.

It’s been a while since someone like this entered my life; I like to think it is because my radar is so finely tuned (but it’s more likely because I haven’t met anyone new for a while!). Whoever crosses me will get theirs. Often with very little meddling from me.

Today has been a good day. I have baked a cake, my favourite hobby. I also have the joy of another day off tomorrow and a Saturday night off. Not much more I could ask for! No walking today as it is a rest day but I’ll be back on it tomorrow. First weigh in on Sunday – my beef stew went down rather well this evening lets hope I can stay away from the pie at the meal out tomorrow night!

Off to torture myself with Celeb Big Bro now, what Z listers are in it this year?!

Schnogs

Zx

Lovely People: Granny Pants, Beav, Li’l J (We will talk soon I promise!), huge loves to BFf today xoxo

Nostalgic For: House parties and punch

Daily Lust: Gotta be Douglas Booth, even though he is just a baby..(coughdewgarcough)

Music for the moment: Right Back Where We Started From, Maxine Nightingale

How I thought things would be different

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it-Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

When I was little, I was certain that I would have a house at 24, be married when I was 25, kids by 28, the cookie cutter 1950’s existence by the time I was 30. That’s what my parents’ lives panned out to be, why on Earth would mine be any different? How wrong I was!

I’m 26. I live at home. I am nowhere near meeting “the man of my dreams” (and to be honest…I’m ok with that). I do have a career but it is most definitely in its infancy. As for kids..no thanks. I’ll be ok without. For now at least anyway. Or the foreseeable future.

It definitely appears, from what I see at work at least, the average age of couples getting engaged to be married (not engaged to be engaged which is a whole other situation that really annoys me!) is getting older. I think there was one couple in the 30 odd that I saw get married last year that were younger than me. This made me feel a whole lot better about myself and my situation!

Of course I have planned my dream wedding (French château, walking through vines, everyone staying for a week, lots of wine – bliss), but when I actually sit and think about it I’m not altogether sure I will ever get married. I don’t know why, it’s just not something that’s on my radar. I can imagine the wedding..just can’t imagine me being there. Weird huh?!

On a side note when I was little I also thought I would be a clown when I was a grown up, make of that what you will. Has anyone followed their dreams through from when they were little? I highly doubt it. Live for the moment, not for the future – you never know what’s around the corner.

Today has mainly been fun, working with Beav always is. Until I realised the one thing I needed to do hadn’t been done, I’m off for the next two days (maybe a trip to Manchester….hint?) and I had 45 minutes before I might have to go into extra time. I roped Beav into helping me and together we managed to finish – THANK YOU!

We bonded today, me and Beav. Was larvely J I hope I wasn’t too honest with you-it was all meant with love *mwah*. As LoughboroughZoe™ used to say, “I’m not a bitch, I’m just blunt”. I guess TodayZoe™ lives by the same phrase. That and saying genuinely in an Aussie accent far too often.

Curried parsnip soup was the order of the day – so yummy. Homemade by my mummy’s fair hands and rice cakes to accompany (ugh like eating cardboard – the soup definitely helped!) Standard pud and home to 2 dogs sat patiently, how can they know in 3 days of doing this that when I get home from work we go for a walk?! Dylan was struggling on the second loop but I think that he is just a wimp in the wind and the rain!

Broski found out his knee is a lot worse than he thought so I met him on my way back with a pizza in hand -well jell! At least he didn’t eat it in front of me.

I know this post has been a bit rambling, feeling a bit anti computers today. Hmm. Beav has asked me to design some posters for her shop that’ll be fun. Send me the info over asap lady.

Tomorrow should be interesting – baking a cake for my Grandma’s 81^st birthday. She was kinda out of it for her 80^th last year so this year is 80 mk 2. Out for a meal with the family but she needs a cake and I got a shed load of baking stuff for Christmas so time to use is.

Only this time I can’t eat the baking mix as I go along (scientific purposes, obv) but anyway there’ll be more for everyone else. Any cake ideas heeeeugley appreciated.

All in this entire whole thing is going fairly ok. I was looking at old photos today. Equally shocked and pleased with the yoyo weights I have been over the years. Here’s to not being like July 2007 again, and bring on February 2008 and/or July 2009. Please?

Kisses for all

Zx

Daily schnugs to: Tails (totes a fisher. Goon), Beav (Funky TEEEA), Granny Pants (miss you), Li’l J (Get in my life)

#overheard: “Look at all the Ryvita crumbs hiding in my crack!”

Craving: The chocolate fudge cake (Lathams of course, had to be) that is sat in the kitchen just one room away

Film of the moment : The Family Stone – purely for Luke Wilson

Song of the day: Funky Town, Lipps Inc