Monday, Bloody Monday

 

UGH!!!!!! The wagon is so far ahead of me since I fell off it on Thursday I need to hitch a ride to catch it up.

I started 12 days of annual leave last Wednesday and went up to Windermere on Thursday. It’s so peaceful up there I love it. However, going up there means one thing only – eating. And as much as I wanted to stick to and count my ProPoints, I just couldn’t. I had ice cream, I had steak and chips, I had far too much wine and to round it off I went to a ball on Saturday where the food was so awful I drank more wine to compensate. I ate all day yesterday and today have been eating chocolate. Water is defeating me and I hated the way I looked on Saturday, fat shiny fat face.

I’m not trying to make excuses but I find it super difficult when I’m at home a lot of the time because it is a house filled with food! Having a brother like I do means that he has to eat pretty much all the time and although my will power was super strong right now I’m a bit ambivalent towards everything. I will start strong tomorrow morning, until Saturday where it is the BarBeDew and all hell will no doubt break loose. I have to bake a bazillion cakes, try getting through that without eating some of the batter!!

So, tomorrow. Tomorrow I will start the day with cereal as I have been doing for the past two weeks, I’ll have some fruit and yoghurt mid morning then probably a massive salad somewhere for lunch. Unsure what we are having in the evening, but I really need to concentrate on this, it’s for my benefit after all, no one else’s. It’s up to me to make this change – no one else is going to give a shit about if I have lost weight, I’m the one it ultimately is affecting so GO ZO!

The other thing I need to remember is that I started the C25K programme last week and am – shock horror – actually enjoying it so far?! I went out last night in the wind and the rain and it was invigorating to have a purpose to keeping fit. I start week two tomorrow which ups the running time – I am hoping that at some point this year I will be able to do a sponsored run or something? I don’t know! It has definitely helped having a running partner and I need to realise  that doing all of this isn’t a quick fix, it is a change for life and these positive changes I am making will ultimately make me a stronger person in the long run.

I know it is a bit of a serious one today. I found this blog today which is so inspirational. I don’t think that I will ever want to do a marathon or iron man (iron woman?!) but knowing that there are others who have been there and found it hard makes me see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. Weigh in and measurements tomorrow. GA!

Being told over the weekend some home truths hurt me, but I know that I will be a stronger person because of it and who knows when I am at that dream weight maybe I will meet my prince? Here’s hoping…

Zx

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How My First Day Went

“Calling someone fat doesn’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try and solve the problem in front of you” – Mean Girls  (Just for you CL)

 

First of all, it was very remiss of me to forget to thank you for taking a few minutes of your time to read my musings on life. I hope that it doesn’t make you think any differently of me, but maybe it will help you understand me a little more!

So onwards. Today, Monday 2nd January 2012, has been the first day of the rest of my life (I hope). It did not start well. I overslept, meaning my well planned breakfast of porridge and banana had to fall by the way side and be replaced by a coffee to go (in my lovely new thermos) and a banana on the run. It is not easy to drive with a thermos and a banana in a Ford Ka with no cup holders. I will not be doing it again.

Luckily I had quite a lot to do at work as we were shut yesterday, so my mind was kept off lunch until I had to head out to but tealights of all things (for a show round that then promptly cancelled!) I got back to work and couldn’t hold out any longer so called lunch time. Jacket potato and beans followed by some gorgeous limited edition yoghurt thing, seriously yummy! Sounds like a pretty decent lunch and it would have been had it not been for the fact that the microwave at work is temperamental at the best of times, so eventually I chowed down.

 It’s amazing, normally because I go for the faster food option I am hungry but 4pm but because I took my time I was good till I got home from work. I also had my trusty bag of satsumas by my side all day so if I did want a snack I could, but I only had one mid-morning.

When I got home, my lovely mummy was waiting with 2 gorgeous dogs ready to be walked. I quickly got changed, grabbed my iPod, my pristine trainers that have never seen a pavement in their life and an overly excited Bertie Dog. Off we went “round the block”. We walked the whole way at a fairly brisk pace and it took us 15 minutes. I then dropped the dog off and carried on with my iPod and the podcast I downloaded last night which aims to increase your running stamina. I found it enormously helpful however my stamina is awful!! I didn’t finish the recording, but I know where I had to stop, and next time I go out with it (Wednesday) I know where I have to push past.

I haven’t eaten my evening meal yet, but it is chicken stew thing which is basically a thick chicken soup in the way it has been made. I also always need bread with this dish, but it’ll be fine!

I have also downloaded “My Fitness Pal” for my phone, writing down everything that I am ingesting is massively eye opening especially as all the calories are there in black and white. For instance when I roughly added together yesterdays food without alcohol included I was 250 calories over my daily intake without factoring in the chocolates or wine I had consumed. I currently have 668 calories left for the day which is nice to know!

I had quite a few messages from some friends yesterday saying that they never knew I had ever felt the way I do, or congratulations for putting myself out there. I have to make it clear that I am not unhappy or sad in myself, only with the way I look which I know is rather shallow of me, but hey who cares. I’m doing this for myself, no one else, which hasn’t really happened before. I want to keep a record so when I have a bad day I can go back to a good day and see what I need to do differently.

To place the quote I have used for today’s post into my life, the problem in front of me is a life of struggling to run up the stairs or dash to the kitchen at work when someone has the wrong starter at work. I need to do this to change my life and my outlook on life.

As for “putting myself out there”, even after one post I felt liberated – I would recommend this blogging lark to anyone, even if it is anonymous and no one reads it, you are putting your feelings out into the universe which means that they are the universe’s problems to deal with and not yours anymore.

Onto a night of Carry On and Made In Chelsea. Spencer YES!

Zx

Loves to my peeps: CL, the Policeman, Rancid, Beav, BFFSIL and Granny Pants

Hoping: #raveinacave is when I’m off work

Hating: how the temperature has dropped – socks AND tights tomorrow at work I think!

Wishing: I had something planned for the time I have just booked off

Needing: to buy tickets for my trip to LDN in March (I promise I’ll bring both shoes this time)

Song for the day: Hip To Be Square, Huey Lewis and the News