Monday, Bloody Monday

 

UGH!!!!!! The wagon is so far ahead of me since I fell off it on Thursday I need to hitch a ride to catch it up.

I started 12 days of annual leave last Wednesday and went up to Windermere on Thursday. It’s so peaceful up there I love it. However, going up there means one thing only – eating. And as much as I wanted to stick to and count my ProPoints, I just couldn’t. I had ice cream, I had steak and chips, I had far too much wine and to round it off I went to a ball on Saturday where the food was so awful I drank more wine to compensate. I ate all day yesterday and today have been eating chocolate. Water is defeating me and I hated the way I looked on Saturday, fat shiny fat face.

I’m not trying to make excuses but I find it super difficult when I’m at home a lot of the time because it is a house filled with food! Having a brother like I do means that he has to eat pretty much all the time and although my will power was super strong right now I’m a bit ambivalent towards everything. I will start strong tomorrow morning, until Saturday where it is the BarBeDew and all hell will no doubt break loose. I have to bake a bazillion cakes, try getting through that without eating some of the batter!!

So, tomorrow. Tomorrow I will start the day with cereal as I have been doing for the past two weeks, I’ll have some fruit and yoghurt mid morning then probably a massive salad somewhere for lunch. Unsure what we are having in the evening, but I really need to concentrate on this, it’s for my benefit after all, no one else’s. It’s up to me to make this change – no one else is going to give a shit about if I have lost weight, I’m the one it ultimately is affecting so GO ZO!

The other thing I need to remember is that I started the C25K programme last week and am – shock horror – actually enjoying it so far?! I went out last night in the wind and the rain and it was invigorating to have a purpose to keeping fit. I start week two tomorrow which ups the running time – I am hoping that at some point this year I will be able to do a sponsored run or something? I don’t know! It has definitely helped having a running partner and I need to realise  that doing all of this isn’t a quick fix, it is a change for life and these positive changes I am making will ultimately make me a stronger person in the long run.

I know it is a bit of a serious one today. I found this blog today which is so inspirational. I don’t think that I will ever want to do a marathon or iron man (iron woman?!) but knowing that there are others who have been there and found it hard makes me see a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. Weigh in and measurements tomorrow. GA!

Being told over the weekend some home truths hurt me, but I know that I will be a stronger person because of it and who knows when I am at that dream weight maybe I will meet my prince? Here’s hoping…

Zx

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How I Need Some Positive Thinking

One Day...

I have gained this week. I don’t know why. Bar going out last weekend, it’s been an ok week I guess. No heating has made me want to eat to get warm! But apart from that..who knows. Portion control and walking the dogs are my buzz actions for the coming week.

I enjoyed seeing the old Team Squuures last night. Always a pleasure! Slow’s all engaged, Are Ya Well is fabulous as always and SWill…..legend. End of.

However the photos of me are truly horrible. I can’t get my head around the fact that what I see in the mirror is not what I present to the world.

At home my hair looked lustrous and bouncy, in the photos it looks lank and knotty. My face has gotten so fat and it’s just horrible. I need to get it into my head that I do  actually look like the picture I have of me in my head. And I need to do something about this!

This week I shall mostly be working. However Without A K provides some light relief. 2 wedding weekend again, but then it will only be a week till I am off. 2 weeks today I will be in the heavenly bliss of the Lake District which is certainly something that I am counting down to. I really hope that I get to spend more time up there this year. It soothes me.

Just a quick post tonight, 12 hours sleep in 48 is catching up with me…I so can’t wait to hit that snooze button on Tuesday morning!

Zx

Loving: This ladys music, why isn’t there anywhere up here that has vintagey old-fashioned parties?! This song in particular is ace.

Silver Lining:If it hadn’t been for this in the last week I would not have survived.

Crushington City: Uhhhhh well…yuh huh duh chuh! Obviously. Also this was sent to me by an old friend and really made me chuckle!

Weekly mwah mwahs: BFF (you know I’m here xx), Patsy (Power Ballads without me and I still love ya), BFFSIL (big things coming your way), SeeJayGee (#newgirlfriends!), Mrs T2B (yaaaaaaaaaaay new housie!), WonderWifey (Just..cuz.). Oh and small loves to Grumpy Bear (I may have found a you work replacement, only taken me a year!)